Thoughts On Turning 30

Dear Husband,

    A couple days ago I was given the gift of celebrating my 30th birthday with you; the 9th birthday that we have celebrated together. Every year you ask me about my hopes and dreams, and every year you work at learning how to love me better. When you chose me, it didn't take long for you to realize that I am not really a flowers and card kind of a girl. Instead I long for quality time, adventure, and to feel known. There is something about turning 30 that feels monumental. Perhaps it's because these years have felt so productive, or maybe it's because this number comes with a new focus on the dreams I want to accomplish in the future. Either way, thank you. 

   Thank you for hearing my heart and working so hard to make our dreams come true. Thank you for being humble enough to accept the help and support that we have needed along the way. Thank you for being proud enough to never give less then everything you have. Thank you for the love you have for the Lord and the way you seek to follow the calling that He has for your life, even when it shakes the foundation of what you think yourself to be capable of.      

    It seems like a decade ago that I got this idea in my mind about wanting to be done having children and own our first home by the time I was 30. I had no idea that that would mean welcoming our first born a month after you started your Masters Degree. Or that we would bring our son home to an already snug 892 square foot apartment to share a room with his sister. I couldn't predict the sacrifice we would make to move over an hour away from your job to live with my parents and save. There was no way to know how God would move in our lives, and in the hearts of those who love us, as they cheered us on and supported us in ways that we can never truly repay. 

    After walking painful fertility journeys with friends who have lost little ones, and praying for friends who are working so hard toward their first home, I now see how naive I was to think that I could be in complete control of achieving such dreams. Of course we all have our part to play in the daily choices that we make, but faith in His provision isn't alway looking forward to future blessings, but also being thankful for what He has already provided. 

    In jest we talk of our babies and our home as gifts that you have given me. Thank you, though, for standing with me in the truth of knowing that God has covered our life with overwhelming grace and mercy that we have done nothing to earn. I don't know what the next 30 years hold for us, but I am truly thankful for every day that I get to love, grow, fight, adventure, laugh, and care for you and all three of our babies. 

Thanks to my Mom and Dad, we got to savor our three hour dinner full of adult conversation and have a whole night to ourselves. Best birthday present ever!